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Me name's Nish. 19 years old. A libra. A monkey. 
I'm just an ordinary humble girl. Awkward & original. A thinker, an optimist & a dreamer.
I'm friendly, I love meeting new people, I'm flirty, a joker, a good listener..
& I love making people happy & brighten their days!
"Live the life you love, love the life you live." - Bob Marley |
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Add me on Facebook Khairunnisa Bazlee  Create Your Badge |
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Tuesday, May 1, 2012 @ 6:18 PM  it's already May & I'm looking forward to making my life worthwhile. No, i'm not just gonna sit at home & wait what's gonna happen. i've wasted my life away in 2011, but i have no regret about it. i've learned from it. i was on the edge of giving up but i kept reminding myself to stay string & have faith. i know i can do it. i know i'll be much more better this year. i've found someone that i love. he's been there in front of me all these years. i've got my interview at ITB. i've made my plans, i've changed my mind set.
life's sometimes rough for me, but i don't let it bring me down. yes, i cried. a lot! i know i'm sometimes over-sensitive but i don't see anything wrong about it. i still can't control my feelings especially when my loved ones insult me, or judge me. i'd cry to feel better. and then i'd forgive & try to forget (i can't forget easily). people around me hurt me but they don't realize so i just keep them to myself. i'm just glad i have shoulders to cry on, someone to talk to, someone to share everything with, someone who can make me laugh on my bad days, i've got a loving family, i've got a best friend who's there for me through ups & downs & i've got a lover that i've been waiting to come for me all these years. i think i've got more than enough.
i'm still trying to be better than before though. be better everyday.
and i'm going to make my days fun & filled with love & joy..
Labels: Life, may, positivity |
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@ 1:47 PM
Our first house party.. i had a really bad night at first but then it was fun & he's the guy who made me laugh the most. we were still friends.
he was drunk, & he wanted to take a photo with me. there was nothing between us. we weren't really that close either.
  
Dee's birthday party. we became closer, and we sat next to each other all the time. well, almost all the time. didn't really talk much. and we did nothing. he wanted to take photos of our shoes. we made the snake head with our hands. and we took a lot of photos together. i knew i liked him.
Party at Kim's crib.
on Dad's 54th birthday celebration.
Amy taking care of kids. oh so cute!
just chillin in front of my house
 
and he was there when i got my interview at ITB
he taught me a lot about life. he gave me positivity, he knows how to treat me dearly, he makes me feel like a little girl and he knows how to take care of me. i've met his sisters, niece & nephew.. i'm glad to be his girlfriend, we support each other in everything. i support his decisions in life & he supports mine. i pray to always be his only one. and i pray for us to be happy :)
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Monday, April 30, 2012 @ 4:47 PM  Thanks a lot to my awesome aunt! |
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Friday, March 16, 2012 @ 1:14 AM it's been a long time i haven't updated my blog! :D so uhhh. life's been great.. we had parties, we chill at our backyard every night.. & now i think i'm in love with Amy. remember him? amyradhy. woohooooo! i don't know how it happened. i don't know when did our feelings start to bloom. honestly, i like him since a long time ago. since a few years ago but i never thought that he'll like me.  |
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Thursday, December 22, 2011 @ 11:10 AM Meth  MDMA  LSD  Marijuana  DMT  Cocaine  Heroin  Ketamine  beautiful? XD Labels: drugs, Information, interests |
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Saturday, November 19, 2011 @ 4:26 PM  so... there are still thousands of single people. awesome! i bet there are thousands of single hotties! |
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@ 4:25 PM  |
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@ 4:20 PM  so if u're planning to do shots for this song, don't XD |
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Thursday, November 17, 2011 @ 12:15 PM "The great moments of your life won't necessarily be the things you do. They'll also be the things that happen to you. Now, I'm not saying you can't take action to affect the outcome of your life. You have to take action. And you will! But never forget, that on any day, you could step out the front door, and your whole life could change forever. You see the Universe has a plan and that plan is always in motion. A butterfly flaps it's wings, and it starts to rain. It's a scary thought, but it's also kind of wonderful. All these little parts of the machine constantly working... Making sure that you end up exactly where you're supposed to be..exactly when you're supposed to be there. The right place. At the right time." - Ted Mosby well this speech touched my heart & it's kinda similar like the power.. so yeah. i believe. |
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Monday, November 14, 2011 @ 1:53 PM I LOVE ROLLER COASTERS!! :D |
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Tuesday, November 8, 2011 @ 5:10 PM You feel like you're falling backwards
Like you're slippin' through the cracks Like no one would even notice If you left this town and never came back You walk outside and all you see is rain You look inside and all you feel is pain And you can't see it now But down the road the sun is shining In every cloud there's a silver lining Just keep holding on And every heartache makes you stronger But it won't be much longer You'll find love, you'll find peace And the you you're meant to be I know right now that's not the way you feel But one day you will You wake up every morning and ask yourself What am I doing here anyway With the weight of all those disappointments Whispering in your ear You're just barely hanging by a thread You wanna scream but you're down to your last breath And you don't know it yet Find the strength to rise above You will Find just what you're made of, you're made of One day you will Oh one day you will |
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Monday, November 7, 2011 @ 9:28 PM You can ask me anything you want & I'll try my best to answer all of them (: http://www.formspring.me/Nishynish |
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Saturday, November 5, 2011 @ 2:44 PM  i've been thinking a lot lately. for me, my life has been a mess. i dont have something to do and theres just a lot of stupid stuffs. but i dont wanna think negatively about it. in fact, i accept it & i just wanna do better. some things just pisses me off lately. boys. not that i'm desperate to have a boyfriend or that i like someone. it's just that.. i didnt do anything to get the attention from the guys. a lot of them tried to be with me. but i usually said no. i never said yes. cause i know what their intention are. stupid. why aren't there any guy who would be with me just because i'm me? why is it always because they just wanna do that something. ew. what the fuck? and when i said no, they'd turn away. not that i care though. but they have really stupid reasons. what the fuck happened to humans? in addition, i always feel lonely anywhere i go. even in the house, sometimes it just doesn't feel like home. everywhere i go, i feel like im being used, betrayed. i feel really insecure. i used to be there for people when they need someone to listen, but when i need someone, there's just no one there. i don't know who to talk to, i don't know what to do. sometimes i just lock myself in the bathroom & cry. i can just hide my feelings & pretend to be happy. sounds easy but it's not. it sucks. i've got myself into trouble & im a bit scared of it. i just hope that everything will be fine. i really wanna forget the past & build a better future with better mistakes. see, i've got 4 rejection letters from the ministry of education. maybe people doesn't know how i feel. it sucks yknow. i really wanna further my studies in the university but they didn't give me any chance. i think my results are still good. im going to apply again for next year & i hope this time i can do it. i just wanna be successful & live my life. i'm actually not the kind of person who doesn't care about anything. i may look like a rebel, or someone who's just immoral. but people don't know me. i'm really sensitive & i really care about my pride. i have dreams, i expect myself to be a successful person. i just really hope i can do it. i take this as a test from God. i'm not even mad at anyone. but myself. i have regrets, i'm a bit angry at myself for doing the wrong things.. but i'll forgive myself sooner or later. i hope God has better plan for me. i hope He really is saving me for someone special, someone really worth waiting. i hope i'm okay. Labels: Life |
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Monday, October 31, 2011 @ 2:09 PM have you ever felt so alone in a crowded place? i have.. and i hate it. i realized that i'm a loner. but i ignored that feeling for so long, i kept telling myself that i'm not alone. i still have my family. with no friends, or someone to talk to, i feel really empty. i'm not even in love. i thought everything's okay. but then... they're not okay. i like someone. and when i like someone, i tend to stick with him. i won't like anyone else. and then it hurts when i saw him hugging other girls. idk how he changed that fast. i guess i have to try to ignore that feeling and just be friends with him. damn. why am i like this? so pathetic. and i feel like i'm a loser. i have a lot of thoughts and feelings i kept inside me. i just dont wanna tell anyone. i cant trust anyone anymore. most of the people are ignorant. |
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Thursday, October 27, 2011 @ 4:22 PM  idk why but i really like him since the first time i saw him. i was sitting alone at the bar & he was hitting the drums & he smiled at me. that was when i stopped feeling alone. the next time we saw each other was when i walked by him & our eyes met. and then, that's when it all started. we started talking and gettin to know each other. every time we meet, he'd open up him arms & hugged me tightly. he'd say "i missed you" repeatedly. i love the way he hugs me. and last night was the best so far. me hugged me a few times, he kissed me on my cheeks & before i went back, he hugged me & he lifted me up & hugged me tightly. in front of him friends. it all felt so good. it felt right.. but i know it's nothing. he's just being friendly & stuff.. sometimes i wish that i have someone to hold on to. someone to love. but i don't have anyone. and i'm really lonely. Labels: Life |
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Monday, October 24, 2011 @ 12:36 PM hiya there non-readers. i'm not sure if there's anyone who reads my blog. i just assume there's none. but that's okay, cause i'm awesome XD so lately i've been doin nothing, just wasting my life away by doing nothing at all... and clubbing. well, i take that as a useful activity because i dance all night long & i socialize. and it makes me happy lol i've started hangin in the club with the band members. oh their band's name is Adrenaline. and there are 3 hot guys. i'm really into two of them... especially Ferdz! idk why. everytime i went in to cheerie berries, i keep lookin for him. & he would invite me with them & he hugs me & tell me that he misses me again & again. i love that feeling though. makes me love him more. man, i really like him. i thought i heard him say "love you" that night but i'm not sure if i heard it right. Sean the guitarist also seems like he's into me. cause when i first arrived, he took my hand and danced with me. and i saw him staring at me from the stage while i was standing in front of the stage.. in front of ferdz playing the drum. and when the club was closing, Sean approached me. and we talked for a while till Ferdz came. hah! i guess that's all i can remember. i can't recall some conversations i had. i was waaaayyy..........off? no, i'm not destroyed. i'm still the person who i was before. i'm just having a lot of fun lately & i don't think it's harmful. plus, i got nothing to do at home which makes my mood to be as low as possible. ya should know that boredom can cause depression. ya seriously :| Labels: Life |
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club!
Friday, October 14, 2011 @ 11:36 AM I've been goin to the clubs every week lately.. They're the times when I was down & stressed & just fucked up. So I always decided to have some fun & just care less... and I really like to flirt & meet new people XD  This is Miko, the vocalist in the band. They were performing at cheerie berries. he's hot!  He's the vocalist too. I forgot his name XD They were a great band & I like them a lot! But now they're back in Philippines.. and there's a new band now. damn there are 3 cuties! and they're cool people!  Ken, the cute keyboardist.. his brother's the guitarist but i didn't get the chance to know him. he's a lot cuter than this guy! well this guy's already a lot cute either.  his name's Ferdy. he's the drummer from te new band. i've noticed him since last week. i like him XD aaaaaand i can't believe it when he told me he likes me. he was chatting with his friends but then he stopped when i passed by him. he said to me he was like "wait a minute, wait a minute.. look at this girl..." and he told me that i'm beautiful :D i think it's rare to find guys like this. we chatted, and he said he wants to go to Brunei..we exchanged numbers.. he was so nice.  this is Steve. half Italian, half errr... i forgot XD i couldn't take my eyes off of him when i was at the dance floor. he was standing alone at the bar & i keep lookin at him. but i got him at last! my sister said something to him & he approached me & we were connected :D looks like i got 2 wingmen now XD  This photo wasn't taken in the club. it was at a party & i was errr.. yeah.yknow. i don't rly remember this moment. |
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Tuesday, October 11, 2011 @ 2:24 PM  i used to be afraid of being alone. i used to be afraid to let go. i'd rather stay with that one person even if they hurt me so much. i just didn't want to be alone. but now i've decided to change. i choose to be happy. i asked him to let me go for good. for both of us. i don't want anymore complicated relationship or any drama. i'm doing really good now! :D i'm glad i did it. i think we're much better being friends now. even though there's still a bit of jealousy but i'm sure i'll get over it soon.  i feel free, and i just wanna begin a new start. i have much more things in my life to worry about. i wanna get a scholarship, i wanna get in to university, i wanna have a really bright future, i want my parents to be proud of me. i wanna chase my dreams & i wanna do what i want. i do feel lonely most of the time.. i got no more friends, i've been left behind, i feel like im standing far below everyone. this is the time my negativity shows up. it contaminates my mind & makes me feel like shit. but i'm not gonna let it bring me down. me myself is my greatest enemy. i gotta stand on my own two feet and be a winner. i just wanna be successful. i'm tired of being looked down :( Labels: Life |
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@ 1:32 PM I know these and other problems are human and no matter what role you take on, we’re all confronted with self-worth, life-purpose, direction, desire, addiction, affliction, pain, and how to deal with or express our emotions to others. “Being human” doesn’t discriminate. I’m sure even the Dalai Lama had his bad days. I’m writing this at Café Gratitude, my most favorite container for conscious thought. The nutritional and mental support I get here instantly shifts my attention back to the lessons I’ve learned that have enabled me to do great things. This morning I was reminded that my view of life is like that of a bridge looking down over a stream of consciousness. All thoughts are allowed to pass under this bridge in the flow of life. Occasionally I may identify with one or more of those thoughts and float downstream as if THAT’S what my life is about, only to discover later that I’m way off course and had lost the larger view I'd had when I was the bridge allowing thoughts to just be what they are; thoughts. This too is the secret of meditation. To quiet one’s mind means to not attach yourself to the flow of thoughts that stream thru the consciousness. The moment we identify too strongly with a thought, we wear it like a costume and lose ourselves in a scenario. It is our thoughts, speech, beliefs, actions and attitudes that we project onto the world that make it show up in a particular way. We can either view the world as unstable and near collapse, or we can view it as perfect. It's up to you. Labels: Life |
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Thursday, September 29, 2011 @ 11:18 AM WHAT IS HAPPENING TO ME???? Labels: Life |